ABlog the Author

BOOKS   EVENTS   BIOGRAPHY   OTHER WRITING & FAVORITE LINKS   WRITE TO BILL

I plan to weigh in every other day or so with what I hope are yak-worthy thoughts, musings and reconditioned events from my alleged past, my assumed present and my delusional future. If you want to comment, I will respond almost as quickly as those spam guys who claim you can make $500/day in your underwear.

Nov 04
Permalink

Here they are...Dave's Opening Remarks 11/4/92....

President Bill Clinton! And you thought he was getting chicks before….

Earlier today, Admiral Stockdale told reporters, “I think we gonna win this thing!”

Good news for President Bush. Because he left the White House in good condition, he will be getting his security deposit back.

Okay, so come January 20, it’ll be President Clinton, Vice President Gore and Assistant Dairy Queen Manager Quayle.

NOTES: I wrote a more personalized version of the first joke (“I’m gonna go out out on a limb here and say there’s no better pickup line in a singles bar than, ‘Hi. I’m the new President of the United States.’” ) but I really wasn’t close. I’m sure jokes 1, 3 and 4 were written by Larry Jacobson, who now writes monologue for Leno, and #2 smells like vintage Gerard Mulligan.

Special thanks to Late Show coordinating producer Kathy Mavrikakis for digging this up.

Comments (View)
blog comments powered by Disqus